She's Got Bette Davis Eyes...and a *new* newsletter
"Bette Davis Eyes" is the Song of the Summer whether you like it or not. Sorry not sorry.
It’s 2025 and somehow this 1981 hit has folks either pissed off or tickled more than it should
Welcome to It’s A Little Bit Funny. I’m new here.
I’ve always loved this song and it’s everywhere. So let’s jump in, shall we?
FWIW: Reagan took office in 1981 too. I’m just saying…
Singer Kim Carnes made “Bette Davis Eyes” a chart-topper for nine, nonconsecutive weeks in 1981. It became Billboard’s biggest hit of the year and was No. 1 in 21 countries due to its seductive synths and Carnes’ vaguely erotic, husky vocals that captured more yearning than warning. The song would go on to take home Grammy awards for Song of the Year and Record of the Year in 1982.
But don’t let JoJo Siwa ruin a good thing with her newfound TradWife bullshit
Fans and “Passionate Critics” of the former child star-turned-problematic bisexual and human meme absolutely lost. it. when Siwa shared her cover of the song—complete with June Cleaver aesthetic (Siwa’s team says the look was homage to Davis, but in what they did not specify) and put-on rasp that sounds like a bad impression and has since been shaded by Carnes herself.
In the comments of a since-deleted TikTok, Carnes shared, “There is a difference between singing a song.... And embodying it....” Adding, “I've always believed authenticity is what makes music timeless. I'm forever grateful to be the voice behind this one.....Bette Davis Eyes.”
— or Ethel Cain and her weird non-apology apology for past, racist social media posts after releasing “F**k Me Eyes”
— or the Gardener on “…And Just Like That”
As this was airing, I thought he was singing ‘she’s got Bette Davis Eye’ because of Seema’s eye patch.
I immediately texted a friend who’d understand why I care and said something along the lines of, “A+ straight man negging.” Then I watched it sober.
You’re forgiven, Logan Marshall-Green.
Tiktok failed to load.Enable 3rd party cookies or use another browser
BUT — it’s a perfect song for the summer (where even fascism won’t stop hormones) because of its lyrics.
HEAR ME OUT!
A little context. Pt. 1
What Siwa doesn’t understand (proven when she changed the lyrics to shoutout her boyfriend Chris Hughes), what Cain’s antagonist hides behind and has reduced to empty sexual encounters and broken promises, what “…And Just Like That” did but undermined with its predictable and uninspired writing, is that the song is not about love.
It’s not even really about Bette Davis.
It’s about the woman who doesn’t crave to be loved, but to live. Who doesn’t crave to be chosen, but choose.
Undefined, unfettered. Embodied without fear. Laughing in the face of the “Male Loneliness Epidemic.”
It’s about Difficult Women (complementary), a topic I love in all forms of media, art, and conversation.
There have been many Difficult Women in pop culture—Joan of Arc, Anne Boleyn, Billie Holiday, Nina Simone, Sylvia Rivera and Marsha P. Johnson, Eve Babitz, Faye Dunaway, Lauryn Hill, Fiona Apple, Asia Argento, Constance Wu—for example.
These are the women who are ruthlessly criticized for the same things they’re praised for. Women who are idolized-then-scrutinized if they're successful but silenced and punished if they're an hourly worker.
Known for her roles as complex, independent women, Bette Davis (and maybe you could argue Mae West—who became more of a caricature—and Ava Gardner, famously femme fatale and mistress) was *the blueprint* for such a muse.
Originally written as a cheeky deterrent to potential suitors in 1974 by Jackie DeShannon and Donna Weiss, the song was inspired by Davis’s 1942 film Now, Voyager — particularly the scene where actor Paul Henreid, smitten by Davis’s Charlotte Vale upon their unexpected reunion at a party, holds her smoldering gaze as he lights a cigarette (technically two at once—take note, smoking romantics) for her. She’s teasing, alluring, expressive; seeming to enjoy her power over him much more than his company in that moment (despite, you know, falling in love. It’s the Hollywood way).
Yet despite her feelings for Henreid’s Jerry, Charlotte Vale chooses her child (Jerry’s daughter, it’s complicated. Watch the film) and above all HER MENTAL HEALTH over a romantic relationship with him, adhering to her psychiatrist’s advice.
He, once again, lights two cigarettes at once and she stands on business, delivering the iconic line “Don’t ask for the moon. We have the stars.”
Queen.
Davis’s Vale goes from insecure “spinster,” emotionally and mentally tormented by her mother, to confident and liberated after a stay in a sanatorium under the care of Dr. Jacquith. She takes herself on a cruise, has an affair with an unhappily married man (Henreid) equally as belittled by his wife, AND chooses to continue to seek happiness and fulfillment on her own terms—alone—despite expectations, despite difficulty, despite love.
The “and” is important. The “and” negates shame, something many people still aim to make us feel guilty for trying to live without. All of the above about Charlotte Vale is true—and it’s often hard for society, and men, to fully accept such women without constantly reminding them of the consequences.
A fitting inspiration. “Bette Davis Eyes” is a song that celebrates women’s rights—and women’s wrongs.
Now watch me make it Political
Pt. 2
If you haven’t noticed, everyone except straight, white men are having their rights taken away. Trump’s 2024 election, much like Reagan’s in 1981, has been framed as an elected backlash to social progress. Particularly women’s and LGBTQIA+ rights (but also prison reform efforts, military spending, and immigration. Topics for another time).
Vulture recently declared the song the Queer Song of the Summer, focusing on Siwa and Cain’s respective reimaginations while nodding to the homoerotic subtext of Carnes’ version, and the influence of queer identity and intense nostalgia trending in pop music.
Undeniably true. And on a larger scale, inextricably linked to what’s happening in the lives of non-cishet male folks in this country in real time.
There has been a stunning rise in misogyny—both on and offline—since the 2024 election. This isn’t an issue unique to America, but in hopes of eventually wrapping this up—I’m going to focus on the U.S.
Hundreds of bills have been introduced to roll back protections for women and LGBTQIA+ folks—well over 500 since Trump’s first term. And the administration is wielding its tyranny in the courts to reshape legal interpretations of “sex discrimination”—really any claims of discrimination that don’t benefit Christians or Zionists.
Transgender Black women face the bulk of targeted, deadly violence in this country.
News of women being attacked by their dates or for rejecting a man’s advances don’t draw nearly as much attention and outrage as they should.
More women live in poverty than men. Disproportionately affecting women of color, according to findings published in 2024 from the National Women’s Law Center.
Not just a killer karaoke number that your mom and aunts would also love, “Bette Davis Eyes” is an anthem for all these women who are rightfully fed the fuck up.
Women, Womxn, and those in relentless pursuit of what society has historically never offered willingly.
Women who are taking.
For a song that (maybe to male listeners or those who never cared to be critics) could simply be about a slightly manipulative, sexually elusive trope of a starlet, it deserves so much more in this moment.
It’s about unapologetic power and boundaries. Such things I’ve seen all kinds of women, including a number of my own friends and myself, reclaim this season.
If the Powers That Be are hellbent on treating reproductive justice, healthcare, childcare, education, social safety programs, etc. like a sick game, we’ll play it better. We’ll expose them when we snow them.
Ok on a scale from 1 to 10, how cheesy was that? I’ve relied on tie-ins like that since college when I quoted James Brown in an essay about Shakespeare’s female protagonists.
Vote or Drop a comment.
Let the boys think we’re all spies (another one!)—from the women preventing ICE abductions to the Girl’s Girls still posting to “Are We Dating the Same Guy?” Facebook pages (or hitting the DM’s directly, I will forever be grateful to ya’ll)—because we refuse to carry their secrets and let them get away with these abuses.
So I implore you, crank it up.
Please subscribe if you didn’t hate this!
I did promise some ‘Things to Do’ recs, didn’t I?
When I first announced this newsletter (May 2024), I mentioned more than a few times that I’d recommend some under-the-radar ‘Things to Do’ for my beloved, fellow Chicagoans.
If you do any of these things, let me know if you enjoyed yourself or absolutely hated every minute.
Pasties for the People at The Newport Theatre; Thursday July 17, 7:30p.m.
Chicago’s burlesque community is studded with stars. Truthfully, I’ve never regretted leaving the house for a night of fabulous performances, costumes, and spectacle. Featuring a number of local powerhouses including 2024-crowned Queen of Burlesque Honey BeeBee, 2019 Burlesque Hall of Famer Dahlia Fatale, Mistress of the Damned Morteisha Addams, Sunny Haelstorm, Rosemary Maybe, amongst others—this night of scintillating burlesque and variety entertainment is for a cause: benefitting the National Immigrant Justice Center. There’s also a post-intermission raffle with incredible prizes from Chicago creators including StarbeltInk, Raks Geek/Raks Inferno, Ms. Scissor, Matt Adore, Plan 9 Burlesque, Marla Wyrd, Latte Dah, Dionysia, and more. Tickets start at $23.18.
The First Homosexuals: The Birth of a New Identity (open through August 2). CHRONICALLY SOLD OUT since it opened in May, this historic, unprecedented exhibition reminds you there’s never been (and will never be) a world without queer folks—only a world that’s continued to change how to perceive us. With more than 300 works by more than 125 artists from 40 countries, on loan from over 100 museums and private collections across the world, dive into art making up for what couldn’t be expressed by words in the wake of the term “homosexual” being coined in 1869. “Before this watershed moment, same-sex desire marked something you did, not necessarily something you were,” gallery Wrightwood 659’s website reads. “The First Homosexuals examines how, for the first time, homosexuals were cleaved from the rest of the population and given an identity which turned on their sexuality.” Tickets are $25 and are still available for select timeslots July 30-Aug. 2.
Movie and air-conditioning enthusiasts alike: Free Summer Screenings, hosted by Cinema/Chicago and the Chicago International Film Festival (slated for October), showcase a different country’s national cinema every Monday and Wednesday, through August 20. Upcoming titles include “Salvador” (Colombia), “Jippie No More!” (The Netherlands), “U Are the Universe [TY - KOSMOS!]” (Ukraine), “The Umesh Chronicles” (India) and Chicago-based director Gregory Dixon’s 2018 breakout debut “Olympia” — to name a few. Just RSVP on the website.
Pueblo Market, every Wednesday at Plaza Tenochitlan (18th and Blue Island) in Pilsen. Organized by Chef Manny Mendoza (Herbal Notes, Gracias Maria), this outdoor/indoor artisan market and social gathering builds community and consciousness. Enjoy rotating offerings of delicious food from local chefs, chess and other board games, flash tattoos, massage therapy and sound healing, farm-fresh eggs, and information for coalitions on immigration rights, Palestinian solidarity (and olive oil), and mutual aids, with occasional live music and much more.
Humboldt Arboreal Society’s Sundays in the Park, every other Sunday through Sept. 28. Looking to fight the Sunday Scaries but can’t stay awake long enough to hit Queen at SmartBar? From 1pm ‘til dusk, music fans (and sometimes their dogs) descend upon Humboldt Park just over the Big Hill to picnic, journal, paint, frolic, and above all—dance to some of the city’s best (as well as visiting) DJ’s. Combining the sanctity of the dancefloor with the restorative power of nature, it’s become part of what makes #SummertimeChi special (and you can be home before 9p.m.)